When the Thought of Training Becomes Overwhelming
One small change is all it takes!
I’ve been in a place of overwhelm for a few weeks now, and I think there is something in the air, because I’m definitely not the only one! Sometimes it seems like we have so many things to take care of that it feels pointless to even try. I am a very “all or nothing” kind of girl, and paired with my “idealism” and my constant-pining for a better future, sometimes that’s a recipe for disaster. For me, when overwhelm shows up in my life it’s showing me two things. 1 – I need to delegate. Take things of my plate. Manage my expectations. Know that my idealism is getting the best of me. 2 – I remind myself that one small step is better than standing still. In so many cases, I cannot make giant leaps toward my goals. But I can be consistent, persistent, and move the needle a little bit. Again, I need to manage my expectations.
If you’re like me and are prone to overwhelm when taking on a big project (like, say, stopping your dog’s separation anxiety!), we need to remember to slow down. These things take time. If you don’t have time to dedicate hours on end to working with your dog (by the way, almost NO ONE does!), then you only have one option: start small. Do one thing differently. Plus, all behaviors are related and interconnected, so if you aren’t working on the exact problem you think you have with your dog, that’s ok! Any training you do with them to reiterate a calm state of mind, and remind them that you’ve got everything under control, will help them make better decisions in those tougher circumstances. In fact, in the beginning of any form of training, get as far away from the “problem” as you can! In stressful situations, dogs will immediately go to their default settings. And no learning can be done when adrenaline is running high, anyways. So, what you need to do is reset their default settings in calmer, more controlled situations.
If you have been walking your dog once per day, bring them for two structured walks per day with immediate crate time afterwards so they can decompress and sleep. If you haven’t done anything to start desensitizing your dog to you leaving the house, walk over to your keys, jingle them, then put them back down and ignore your dog. Do this whenever you can, just make it a part of your day whenever possible, and keep ignoring their reaction. Something that takes just a few seconds can have an enormous impact on a dog’s behavior over time. Eventually your dog won’t be triggered by the sound of your keys. Give your dog a massage at the end of the day to help them get really relaxed (most anxious dogs have a very hard time relaxing). The more they practice relaxation, the more accessible it will be for them down the road.
It is pointless to try and change anything important in a moment’s notice. Nothing worthwhile happens overnight! The only thing we can ever do is slow down and take things one step at a time. One small change in your day will inevitably lead to more, but you just have to start somewhere, and then trust the process from there!
