A Love Letter to Stryker
How adopting a difficult dog prepared me for a puppy
If you’ve followed us for awhile, you know that in April of 2020 we adopted a 4-year-old Great Dane/English Mastiff mix named Stryker. Stryker had been surrendered to us a few months before then, as his owners (who loved him very much and did everything in their power to keep him) were facing some pretty serious situations that life sometimes throws at us all. Stryker was a 160-pound ball of panic and impulsivity. He liked to train but had practiced anxiety so much, any little thing could throw him into a spiral. Anyone who met him during those early days knew how much work was cut out for us when we welcomed him into our home.
For one, our goal as trainers is to always take the worry out of the dog’s mind. We want to build a relationship based on trust and respect; one that could foster more relaxation because that dog knows that we can take care of anything that comes up. Anxious dogs usually feel the need to step up and “do something” about “scary” situations because they feel like their owners aren’t. Several months into our time with Stryker I actually broke down and cried to Jeff because I said I feel like my whole life is revolving around him! Any time we had a delivery, I needed to stop what I was doing to train with Stryker to teach him that delivery people = treats and rewards, and to change that association. I couldn’t move from room to room without putting one of the dogs outside, one of the dogs in a crate, or bringing Stryker with me wherever I went to avoid any confrontations between the dogs without me being present to guide them. It was SO. MUCH. MANAGEMENT. in the beginning. And Jeff said something to me that completely changed my perspective and gave me the motivation to keep going. He said, “I know it’s really hard, but you’re taking all those feelings on so that he doesn’t have to. You’re changing his life.”
Cue more tears.
As time went on and I stayed consistent over anything else (even if my training wasn’t perfect every time, I was always there to guide him and teach him to be calm in new situations instead of rambunctious or impulsive). Little by little, we started to see him relax more, sleep deeper, look to me for rewards when someone pulled in the driveway instead of barking and pacing. He started to play more, to roll on his back outside and run in our field and give those huge play bows that are adorable when puppies do them and somehow even more adorable when giant breeds do them! We learned that he is actually this super goofy, happy-go-lucky, misunderstood social-butterfly of a dog that just wasn’t given many opportunities in his early life to “be” all of those things, which caused a lot of pent-up frustration…which can really look like aggression. And, that can definitely be intimidating in a giant breed dog!
I can’t even count how many times we’ve said out loud, what would Stryker be like now if we had the opportunity to guide him like this right from the very beginning.
Welp – then it hit me. Everything I do for Stryker as a reaction to his practiced impulsivity, I am teaching our new puppy right from the get go the expected behavior in those situations. Delivery person at the door? Sit at my feet and focus on me. Catch a scent of something and want to run off? Come back to me instead and get a reward. Crate time = rest time, special toys, food. Anytime we go for a walk if I stop walking, come sit at my feet and wait for my instructions. It’s the classic, “before you tell them no, tell them where to go.” It was like I had gone to puppy boot camp for the last 3 ½ years, and I can honestly say I don’t think I have ever been so prepared to shape a young mind.
All this to say that it's not the easy relationships in life that teach us things, right? It’s not the easy gym sessions or the “just one more cookie” mentality that gets us into better shape. It’s not Netflix that expands our knowledge. Only those things that challenge us will make us grow into better people, spouses, parents, and friends. Those difficult gym sessions force our bodies to change and become stronger. Those self-help books give us more awareness about ourselves and others and foster more perspective and understanding.
And those difficult dogs make us better dog trainers (PS: if you train your dog, you’re a dog trainer).
Stryker will always hold a special place in my heart as the dog that forced me to grow into a better steward of all dogs everywhere. And I can’t thank him enough for this opportunity he’s given me with our new girl, Kiah, and where we can all go from here.
