Take a moment and
think about the way you interact with your dogs on a daily basis.
What is the energy behind those interactions? What is the overall
energy in your home? Do you have young kids? Are you jam packed with
soccer practice and meetings and grocery shopping and you don’t
know how you’ll manage to do it all? Now think about the energy
that YOU bring to your life everyday. Do you wake up already feeling
behind the ball and stressed out? Or do you wake up calm and enjoy
the morning hours? Do you rush your dogs out the door to go to the
bathroom because you don’t have the time for them like you used to?
Or do you intentionally spend time with them, in the moment, and
share space with them and show them you love them?
We all go through
phases where our schedule is so full we can't even remember if we’ve
eaten that day. We are certainly allowed to have those times in our lives
and should let ourselves off the hook for occasional stress! But, what if your chronic stress and
overwhelm are contributing to that behavior that your dog has picked
up? You know, that behavior that you’d like to change but you’re
so busy that you wouldn’t even know what to start?
Dogs read body
language
. They literally read the energy of the room, of people, of
other animals, then reflect that energy back. When we bring a new dog
into our daycare pack, we get so much information about the incoming
dog by watching our existing pack! They reflect back the same energy
the new dog is giving off. If they come up to the new dog, sniff her
through the fence, calmly wag their tail and then walk away, it’s a
good sign the new dog is calm and non-reactive. If, however, the pack
gets tense, the energy of the room gets denser, the play in the
background stops, and hair goes up? That’s a whole different story.
The dogs in our
lives are constantly giving us feedback about the energy levels we
are putting off. If this sounds a little crazy, then think of it this
way. When you’re at work, late for a deadline, and you keep getting
interrupted, and then your child’s school calls and your son needs to
get picked up early, and you still needed to get groceries for dinner
tonight, and you forgot to make the mortgage payment, and, and,
and….. your energy is tense and hectic and anxious. You’re
thinking in the future and you’re all over the place feeling like
you have no time. Versus, when you’re on vacation, and you are
sitting on a white sand beach, with crystal-blue water, and you’re
just listening to the waves, feeling the breeze, and not thinking
about-a-thing? You are living in the moment, filled with joy. Your
energy is serene and calm, peaceful and happy. We are constantly
giving off energy as long as we are alive. And as long as we have
dogs in our lives, those dogs are acting as a big-ole reflection for
us.
So, the first step
to improving any situation is to get crystal clear on where you
already are. It’s all about awareness.
Does your dog try to rush
out the door ahead of you? Will he sit and wait for you to open the
door or is it too difficult for him to stay calm? Is he constantly
running out ahead of you, chasing anything that crosses his path,
barking at strangers… Does he constantly need to play fetch and
chase sticks? Or is he calm and respectful, is the walk nice and
easy, does he stop and sniff the roses and calmly greet passers-by?
Now, obviously, there are a lot of components at play here: how long
have those behaviors been reinforced, what is your dog’s natural
energy level, what is your dog’s age, etc. But, in general, the
energy of your dog is an overall reflection of the average energy of
your life and home over a period of time. In other words, if you are
always late and stressed and anxious and chaotic, your dog will show
those symptoms. If you are calm, take time to be present with your
family, get out of your own head and live fully in the moment with
your animals, and live life intentionally, then your dogs are going
to show symptoms of that.
Now I am not writing
this to blame or make anyone feel badly about their life! We are all
hectic and crazy and running late from time to time. But before you
get upset with your dog and start blaming him for unwanted behaviors,
try looking at it from a new perspective. When you blame someone
else you give all your power away. When you see behavior as a
reflection of something in your life, you take your power back and
you can actually do something about it.
It is ALL about
awareness.
First comes awareness, then comes ownership, then comes
commitment, then comes change. Sometimes our dogs are simply acting
as a warning light. They have the ability to show us where we need to
change our ways, take our power back, and start living life from a
new vantage point. Start seeing their naughty behavior as an invitation to change for the better, in all areas of your life, including dog ownership. In order to have that special bond with them that we all strive for, we must intentionally make time for them and honor them as the loving beings that they are. Soon enough, you may even be grateful that your dog helped you calm down, get grounded, and allowed you to become aware of some things in your life that you needed to change but couldn't see. Powerful stuff.
